A Starting Over At 60 Blog
Since I was 8 years old, I knew I would be a writer. On the back porch, my father sat on the stoop, a bag of enormous frogs at his feet and an enormous skinning knife in his hand. His knee-length boots were caked in mud and marsh grass. His green camouflage pants were already smeared with blood. He was skinning frogs for frog legs, a delicacy down south, especially in Louisiana where my mom came from. My dad would heave croaking lumps as big as cats from the bag, flattening them across his knee. In one second, he gouged a knife between their eyes. The frog was dead but worked its leg frantically as if bicycling toward death.
In the dark, muggy, Oklahoma night, the porch lamp spotlighting the gruesome task, life seemed tenuous. In one moment, my father could lay me across his knee and slit the life out of me. Watching, I cried so hard, snot and tears dripped into the wet evening grass. At this moment, a poem came to mind, something about unaware frogs and their certain death. I ran inside to capture the words in my pink diary. It was the first time I realized words carried weaponizing weight, as well as photographic resonance and comfort. My poem eased my horror and cemented a reality I could not verbally express.
This was the beginning.
I wrote everything after that. Poems, essays, rants. Although ballet would consume me for years, writing always ran alongside me, a reliable friend amid the angst of my youth. When ballet no longer seemed a viable future, my writing being stepped inside me, entwining my organs, seeping into my bloodstream to be who I am.
Jump 42 years later. When I was fired early one morning by someone I considered a friend, my first thought was: I am going to write a book. Writing will transmute my pain into insights and lessons. I had lost my job— for the first time ever, and it was late in my career. Most of my work friends abandoned me, and I lost my network overly focused around my job. In many ways, my job had become my identity. It was time to rescue myself from the skewed lens I had been looking through.
This is how my book started. I wanted to help others like me— aging workers, particularly women, who suddenly find themselves out of work. It’s a ghost land. Employers are seeking less expensive (i.e. cheaper) labor, pushing more and more mature, seasoned and experienced workers off the payrolls. Senior level jobs are sparse, and also seeking youth. The AARP has documented this trend, as has the Department of Labor, LeanIn, SHRM and the EEOC. In other words, this is real, not imagined.
I applied for— wait for it— over 500 jobs. I used agencies, headhunters, my destroyed network, personal outreach, more networking. I received many interviews and even made it to some second and third rounds. Each time— and I do mean every— the result was letter, not all of them form letters, explaining the obvious: I was too experienced, I had led much larger teams, I was sure to be too expensive. Let’s decode this: they were going younger, a fact I easily confirmed by seeing their new hire. Ironically, often 6 to 12 months later, the same jobs were available. I would apply again, reminding them that I had reached the finals last time and answering their concerns. I still didn’t get the jobs.
This is how employers hide an ageist agenda. They interview mature employees but choose younger. Or they don’t interview at all. Many employers take job actions to release many employees at once. Often the ages focus on 40 and up. Employees don’t realize 40 is the beginning age of age protection. Nor do they realize they can ask their employers for a list of terminated employees. The employer is legally required to supply it.
In short, most mature employees don’t know their protections and rights. I didn’t. So I researched, and researched, and researched. This research became my first book. I realized if I didn’t know all of the information available, others wouldn’t either. My research became a guide, not especially for me because my moment was lost, but for others.
My book takes seasoned workers from blindsided, isolated, and unsure of their rights — to informed, prepared, and ready to act. It covers:
1. Spot the early warning signs of ageism — before they become a crisis.
2. Know your legal rights, and how to document what’s happening to you.
3. Navigate the EEOC process and decide whether to pursue legal action.
4. Manage your finances, insurance, and tax exposure through job loss.
5. Rebuild your professional identity — and land meaningful work again.
6. Stop blaming yourself — and start seeing the systemic picture clearly.
Here’s a summary of my 15 chapters across four parts — covering every stage before, during, and after late-career job loss.
Part I — Understanding the Landscape
- Chapter 1 · From Rosie to Reinvention — see how 80 years of workforce history shaped the climate you’re navigating today.
- Chapter 2 · Hags, Witches and Grans — recognise the cultural scripts that turn aging women into liabilities.
- Chapter 3 · Cowgirls Don’t Grow Old — reject the myths that quietly erode one’s sense of relevance.
Part II — Recognising & Responding
- Chapter 4 · It’s Not Your Imagination — read the signs that your employer is starting to push you out.
- Chapter 5 · The Patriarchy’s Dirty Secret — name the dynamics that turn women against each other.
- Chapter 6 · Ageism vs. Age Discrimination — understand the critical legal difference, and why it matters.
Part III — Protecting Yourself Legally & Financially
- Chapter 7 · It’s Happening to Me — the first three steps to take in the first 72 hours.
- Chapter 8 · I Worked for These People? — understand the other side, so you can negotiate from strength.
- Chapter 9 • Getting Help — work directly with the EEOC, step by step.
- Chapter 10 · Going Legal — decide whether and when to pursue an age discrimination case.
- Chapter 11 · The Legal Process — prepare for what to expect at every stage.
- Chapter 12 · Finances and Taxes — manage the financial reality of job loss and settlements.
Part IV — Coming Back Stronger
- Chapter 13 · Getting Ahead of the Risk — protect yourself before any of this starts.
- Chapter 14 · Back to Work Again — find meaningful work after age-based job loss.
- Chapter 15 · Building a Better Workplace — what companies can do (and what you can ask of yours).
My first moment of frog empathy began my relationship with words. My first job loss led to my first book. Words are still within me, guiding my steps.
If you need this book or know someone who does, let me know. Email: clynnegravis@gmail.com.
