A Starting Over at 60 blog
When I decided to create a new life at the young age of 60, I set up a number of parameters for myself. My goal has been to catapult myself out of a 30-year period of comfort and stability. To be clear, these years were punctuated by plenty of upheaval and tragedy, but a core of predictability held life together. I had a wonderful career, family and friendship, as well as my own rooted resilience. Releasing these tethers, however, has hurled me into the unknown. I’m an escaped hot air balloon without ballasts of sand to smooth the journey to a safe landing.
Here are the parameters I set:
- From now until my death, I will support myself based on my own talents. I will only work for myself. I have always helped others succeed. I have been rewarded from doing so. Take the salaried position, title l, exciting travel and benefits away, however, and what’s left? I want my way of making a living to be completely intrinsic and free from the accouterments that boost our egos.
- I am releasing material items. I want to reconnect to basic life needs. How many clothes does one really need? How does the value of things interplay with or replace self-worth? The goal is to disconnect from materialism and learn who I am without the social boost that things can provide.
- I want to bow out of modern-day consumerism. This is definitely connected to giving up material things. We often purchase new stuff because the trends— shared through media and social— are addictive triggers. The latest purse, shoes, outfit or home items divide privilege and lack thereof.
- I want to understand the privilege, particularly white privilege, I’ve experienced my entire life but have not realized because of unconscious bias. I have become conscious of how privilege permeates my life and has helped me succeed even when I I lacked social and financial status.
- I am developing self-care. I tuning in to listen to the cadence of my own waves. What makes me tired? What signals occur within my body? What best achieves rest and relaxation? How much rest do I need to rejuvenate? What is my ideal balance?
- Released from disingenuous external stimuli, what does my self-esteem feel like? What do I genuinely like about myself? Can I find love for what I don’t like about myself?
- What are my emotions telling me? Sometimes tiredness masquerades as anger or frustration. What does it take to peel away the learned replacements to identify real feelings?
- What are my natural daily rhythms? When I create my own schedule and my own discipline, what gains most importance? And what falls away?
- What does it feel like to be without an official home? I am not homeless but I am unfixed for a period of time. I am staying with a relative in a wonderfully comfortable and cozy room. I no longer have a house to care for, and all the responsibilities that go with it.
- Who are the people who truly nurture me and help me feel connected to myself and to community. Belonging is an essential human need. How much belonging is necessary for me?
- I want to live closer to nature and to feel the impact of seasons upon me. Do I feel the gravitational pull of sun and moon as the earth turns and rotates around the sun? What do I need to learn from nature? Native Americans see signs developed from living close to nature. Am I able to see signs to help me gain insight and connection?
- What if I release all judgment? Partly, this is a response to the extreme intolerance that has developed in the U.S.
- What food is necessary to sustain me? And what food best nurtures and nourishes my body? Can I grow and/or make almost everything I eat? Having fast food is fine- but do I feel better physically if I make the effort for something else? Conscious eating based on vitamin and mineral nourishment is very different from feeding to fill hunger.
- I want to simplify, simplify, simplify. Do I need a purse filled with stuff to lug around? Or do I need my phone, drivers license and medical card, back up payment method and a lip gloss? This is a small, perhaps silly, example, but one that also supports examining materialism and self-esteem.
- What’s worth spending money on? My privilege is that I can pretty much spend on many things but I don’t need these things. I don’t even think I want them. Our culture creates an automatic false desire that harms us in the long term. We— most of us— are short- term focused. What brings long-term fulfillment?
That’s it for now. But as you can see, I’m shedding. It seems appropriate— and aligned to my goals— to be doing so as summer (an extended one at that) slips into fall. My cats are shedding their summer coats and tufts of thicker fur sprouts uneven patches on their bodies. Likewise, the deer’s thicker and darker scaly skin has almost replaced their summer coats. The fawns have lost their spots. I feel more synchronized with them, something I’ve never experienced at this level.
If this sounds idyllic, let me be honest: it’s not. What I’m doing is hard. By 60, we are usually set in our ways, desiring to work 5 -7 more years before retirement. That’s not what I’m doing. This is an entire life reset. I’ve chosen this reset. Some days already, a panic rises in me asking, “what the hell are you doing? Are you nuts?” Perhaps I am. But it also feels critical for thriving through the next 30+ years of my life. At 90, I will have a whole new set of stories to tell and a completely different legacy from the one I’ve already built.
I’ll share what I’m learning along the way.
I would love to hear from you, even if, especially if, you disagree. Perhaps we can bring back the American tradition of debate. Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website (www.walk-the-moon.com) to peruse the full collection of articles and updates. You can email me from the Walk the Moon website as well.
Walk the Moon 