Packing

Into the Wilderness: Story 53

No, I’m not talking about packing heat. I’m talking about packing up everything you have gathered over sixty years of life and putting it all in storage for at least a year.

We’re moving. Or perhaps I should say we’re moving on. After losing my corporate job a year and a half ago, other opportunities have developed from writing this blog and growing its audience. I’m moving toward a lifelong dream: make a living based on my creative talents. A lot more to come on this.

Part of this life change is downsizing. We have decided to sell our 5-bedroom home and build an age-in-place 2-bedroom home for settling the next 20 years, or more. We have loved the home we’ve been in. We moved in after my husband and I married- second marriages for us both. We raised our girls here- I say “our” because my husband has adopted both of them- and relished and suffered the challenges of raising neurodivergent girls in the age of social media, pandemic and political chaos. We’ve had the best times, and some of the most painful times, in our lovely home. As I look back at the 10+ years we’ve lived here, I see our home as the steadying force in our lives- a place to allow pain to flow through us, to revel with joy, to lose ourselves and find our way home again. Dear Home- you will be missed.

We haven’t only packed up. We have purged, donated, sold and saved. Each of these activities is emotional. Objects become levels of attachment or meaningful memories rather than things. My mother’s china set— I’m not ready to release this. My mother died fairly young and it’s imbued with her spirit. The dishes I bought for Christmas— release. They have no meaning for me. The intricately stitched needlework from my husband’s great aunt- keep. Her handiwork is of a time past. The business clothes I used when traveling or in the office- donate or sell depending on the situation. Musical instruments from my ex-husband- sell! This was a huge surprise. I posted a trombone on Facebook Marketplace for a “time to get rid of” price and a kind stranger messaged me to tell me I was giving away treasures worth much more. I researched and repriced.

For the first time ever, I’ve held garage sales. These are a study in human behavior. I have met neighbors or “close by” folks I’d never have met otherwise. My husband met in person for the first time people he’d befriended in community groups. The garage sale attracted treasure hunters- some of the musical instruments went to these people- and hoarders. It’s easy to tell the difference. The treasure seekers carefully inspect and ask questions. The hoarders return again and again taking almost anything. I was surprised by what sold and what didn’t.

Now, we are mostly packed up. Our garage is loaded floor to ceiling with plastic crates- I packed 90% of them- bubble-wrapped pictures and lamps, and small furniture. The house has been de-cluttered, organized and staged. We’ve painted every room, refinished the wood floors and updated a few things- investments that should be returned with the sale. The cleaners and landscapers are scheduled. Next week, we go on the market.

I’m caught between two states: exuberant release and mournful attachment. I am ready to move on. I’m ready for our next stage of life. I’m also grieving the unplanned nature of our life change. With one new dream, we lose others. Letting go is a daily practice.

You’ll be hearing a lot more about this next phase of life because I’ll be sharing it on Instagram. I tease my husband that we are just two “old” people starting life over. We are! We’ve bought some acreage and will begin our build eventually. We also plan to practice a life free of stuff. We have the clothes we are wearing and a carry-on size suitcase. We may get an RV and cross the country. We will spend months in Italy and Spain. Mostly, we will find time for me to write- for that is where my new opportunities are.

Things don’t make a life. Our spirits and emotions do. No matter where we go, we will carry these precious items with us. They are priceless. And as we experience the adventures of starting life again at 60, we will let go and find ourselves in new places. Bon Voyage!

I would love to hear from you, even if, especially if, you disagree. Perhaps we can bring back the American tradition of debate. Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website (www.walk-the-moon.com) to peruse the full collection of articles and updates. You can email me from the Walk the Moon website as well.