Raising Autism
I have raised two daughters with special needs. By “special needs” I don’t mean physical limitations- though that can be an issue. I do mean neurodivergence. Both of my girls are on the spectrum and one has severe ADHD. Let’s be clear: these diagnoses create “special needs.” They were never able to participate in regular classrooms or after school activities. They struggled every day, and sometimes still do.
As I’ve come to understand their challenges, I’ve realized how far our educational institutions, our workplaces, even our society in terms of social acceptance and affiliation have to go to be neurodivergent inclusive. Nearly 20% of the US population is neurodivergent. That may not seem like much, but let’s put it in real numbers. That’s 68 million people (based on a US population of 346,204,721 reported by Worldometer). For context, that 68M equals the populations- every person- in California and Texas, the nation’s two most populated states. That’s a significant number- and certainly one we cannot ignore.
Without direct experience of neurodivergence, the challenges may be hard to understand. I’ll share a few examples of how our “systems” (schools, work places, etc) would need to adjust to accommodate neurodivergence.
My younger daughter is sensitive to sound, particularly humans speaking, yelling or laughing. ASD creates extreme sensory sensitivities. For her, it’s magnification- everything is louder than what others may experience. This is the way her brain works. In her job at a doggie day care, she works mostly alone and with dogs. The noise of dogs doesn’t have the same impact so she can make it through the day. But imagine being around people all day. When she was in elementary school, she would hold herself together all day long, but as soon as she came home, she’d devolve into unrelenting tantrums. Nothing consoled her. I realized the reason for them when she was in middle school- years later, and I’m the parent. She had spent so much energy during the day mirroring neurotypicals that she was completely worn out and without words to describe her experience. The angry outbursts were her way of saying, “I know I’m different, and I don’t understand why. I am exhausted, angry and frustrated.”
Now imagine work environments. Open office spaces, office cubicles, or even semi- enclosed offices- these are usually noisy. Phones ring, keyboards clack, humans interact. Even with headphones on, the noise is often too much for neurotypical people. For ASD, the noise can be debilitating. The person may be unable to work, frozen in an unrelenting cauldron of noise. Have employers thought about this? Do workplaces have alternate work spaces for those with ASD who are sensitive to sound? I certainly don’t know of any, and I’ve been asking around.
With the current “return to work” mandates, we should wonder about the impact on neurodivergent employees. I have no research to support- but I wonder if some outrage about returning to the office is because of sensitivities beyond a person’s control. Working at home allowed neurodivergent people to create their own work spaces- a safe hovel, minimizing the sensory magnifications. How are employers going to accommodate them? Will they? Are we entering a period that expects the neurodivergent to adjust to “normality” or not be employed?
My older daughter experiences other types of magnification: smells and food textures. We’ve all had someone eat a tuna fish sandwich at the desk or cubicle next to us. Nothing minimizes the smell. Take that smell and increase it tenfold, and you may understand how she experiences smell. She will wretch and vomit. She certainly can’t, and won’t, tell people what and what not to eat- if she wants to have positive work relationships. What are her options? She can leave the office, go outside, get some distance. But let’s say she’s on deadline for a project. What’s the solution? I always encourage both daughters to be candid about their challenges and needs. It’s the only way they can advocate for themselves. But as you will read later, this authenticity can actually work against them.
ASD workers also manage discomfort with the nuances of social interactions. Is this employee kidding me or being serious? Is this person angry at me or upset about something else? How do I politely turn down an out of office function because the noise will be too much (not that I don’t want to go)? Why am I always left out of social interactions? These nuances are tough. I’ve seen both daughters struggle the most in this area. This does not mean, however, that ASD employees aren’t good employees. JP Morgan Chase “found that professionals in its Autism at Work initiative made fewer errors and were 90% to 140% more productive than neurotypical employees.” My takeaway: we are missing talent if we skip over neurodiverse employees.
Fifty years ago, these workers were excluded from the workforce. Even today, according to “Neurodiversity in the workplace: Why it matters,” 30-40% of neurodivergent adults are likely to be unemployed, a rate three times higher than people with other disabilities and eight times higher than neurotypical people. Neurodivergence is a cluster of disabilities with autism ranking as the lowest employed of them all. The National Autistic Society in the UK, claims that 1 in 16 autistic adults are full-time employed. This means chronic underemployment and unemployability. Many hiring managers- and I used to be one of them- question resume gaps. Educating myself about these issues has shifted my thinking.
In recent years, companies like SAP, JP Morgan Chase, Hewlett Packard, Caterpillar and Dell- as well as others- have become more aware of the issues and shifted policies and implemented accommodations. A positive direction. However, other surveys have conveyed ongoing corporate concern about hiring employees with neurodivergence, particularly autism. The concerns center around social interactions, team activities, training and the risk of other employees not understanding and correctly interpreting the ASD employee. In fact, one-third of respondents in a survey of 500 companies said if an applicant disclosed autism in an interview, the manager would not hire them (multiple sources).
As JP Morgan Chase learned, neurodivergent individuals have a lot to offer. Accuracy. Productivity. Detail orientation. Technical abilities. Creative talents. Unique problem solving. Once, when we were at the beach, a ball my girls were bouncing landed in a deep and muddy marsh filled with sea grass. The ball was immersed in a swampy, stinky mess. We tried to retrieve the ball with all kinds of implements but could not reach it. My 10-year-old daughter came up with the solution. We could balance a ladder across the non-marshy parts and use it to lower ourselves down and reach the ball. This worked perfectly. Two adults did not come up with this solution. Her ASD thinking led to this clever solution.
Creative problem solving is needed in so many workplaces. Is there acceptance and cultural space to engage in, listen to, and leverage this talent? I’m not sure. Hierarchical corporate structures separating upper management from the employees doing the work often prevent access, openness and challenge. Company culture can silently produce an environment discouraging the kind of unfiltered thinking and emotional presentation of neurodivergent individuals. If you’ve seen the Good Doctor series, you’ll know what I mean. In addition, HR may talk about neurodivergence without actually understanding the needs. adjustments and accommodations needing to be made. To really make a difference, following JP Morgan’s lead is a start. They created an initiative studying autism in the workplace, resulting in insights like the one I shared above.
And here’s another thought… Neurodivergence in the form of ASD impacts men more than women, although this claim could be challenged because of lack of research on girls with autism versus boys. Even still, ASD men could experience bias in this area on par with the misogyny women see. Research would need to be completed to confirm if this is true. Perhaps contrary to current diversity focus, men could need special consideration here, simply because the numbers are greater.
And this is where the irony begins. We know that diversity programs are being attacked. The new administration coming into the White House, as well as Project 2025’s recommendations have been clear: diversity and education are areas to cut. What happens if they are? We are hurting both women and men of all colors and ethnicities. I can’t imagine a school system without the kind of support my daughters needed. Without it, they would have been forced out of the school system and relegated to segregated, private education. Many families won’t have the money. This would take us back 40-50 years when neurodiverse individuals were institutionalized. In fact, institutionalizing was common practice until the 1980s. In an article in neuroscience journal The Transmitter, Jessica Wright notes that older adults with autism are not frequently seen because they were pushed aside into institutions that treated autism as a psychiatric illness. They were drugged and ignored.
I’m sure no one would support such treatment again. Yet, with the promise to cut the Department or Education and diversity programs, no alternative solutions have been offered. How sad to lose the talent and capabilities of these individuals. Neurodivergence is only a different way of processing and thinking. It actually could be a better way. Our neurotypical dominance does not equal right or good. It simply means more of us. We certainly know a lot of neurotypical people in the US have not learned thinking and logic that leads to “better.” We can learn from the neurodiverse.
Learning from them may be a radical idea. However, I would encourage it. Our world, our country, need difference from the so called norm. We need the creativity, the challenge, the unfiltered perspectives of the neurodivergent. They could have solutions for our greatest problems. All I know is that without the thinking of my daughter, I’d have given up on the lost ball. It would have been relegated to the swamp. Let’s not lose the neurodivergent in the swamp. We need them.
I would love to hear from you, even if, especially if, you disagree. Perhaps we can bring back the American tradition of civilized debate. Please like and share this blog with others. Subscribe to receive it by email and go directly to the Walk the Moon website to peruse the full collection of articles and updates.
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