A Surviving Facts Blog
I ended my last blog with a question on whether we are ready in the US to have conversations about patriarchy and women’s oppression. My conclusion: obviously not. I am not one to press arguments or opinions on those who don’t want to hear them. So, going forward, I will be calling out facts that illustrate women’s backwards progress and the breakdown of equity and parity in the workforce between men and women that we are already seeing and is already being documented.
But with the potential for increased scrutiny coming with Project 2025 (dont believe me, read it), I will not be endangering my family. The US is unwilling to challenge a patriarchal hegemony which has placed a predominant male class in control of and ruling every aspect of the lives of women and minority groups. We care about cheap gas more than human rights and women’s lives. More than fairness and equality for all. And many white women agree.
What I will write about is how we are going to manage the next four to eight years- or potentially more. If Project 2025- which is an actual plan for completely retooling American democracy, 8-figure funded by the Heritage Foundation- progresses, we will need to prepare for and survive dangerous times. Project 2025 establishes a Christian nationalist autocracy more akin to Turkey than American values. It consolidates power in a president, takes away any power or authority of government agencies, allows cronyism in government, removes personal freedoms, especially for women, and eliminates certain health care, educational and even employee choices (no more overtime pay!).
And this is on top of the previous damage done. I just learned, for example, that in 2019, Trump’s administration removed emotional and psychological abuse from the definition of domestic abuse. We know what happened with Roe v Wade and the resulting increase in female deaths. And I’ve been sharing the stalled progress and regression of women’s advancement in the workforce.We are likely to see additional erosion of women’s protections around rape, stalking and domestic abuse as well as eroding workplace parity.
I have two daughters. I have told them they will be okay. I have the wherewithal, privilege and financial standing to get them through this.
But what about those who don’t?
A few suggestions, some of which may sound crazy…
- Women of childbearing age, don’t tell anyone if you get pregnant. If you cannot afford to travel to another state or country, and you want personal choice, stay quiet and strategize. Burn your home pregnancy tests. I’m not saying don’t get prenatal care. Research at your local library, take your vitamins, make alternate prenatal care plans. As it is, OB/GYNs are leaving Texas and other states in record numbers because the laws do not allow for the ability to honor their oath and care for pregnant women with problematic pregnancies or miscarriages. If you decide you are ready to have a baby, obviously seek medical support. But be aware, if you miscarry- which is known as a spontaneous abortion- your life may be at risk. You need to have emergency plans. If the pregnancy is not something you want, you will need to act quickly and carefully. You will need to get to a state that will help you without risk of punishment. Which leads to #2.
- If your state monitors pregnancy across state borders, be prepared. Make sure your passport and driver’s license are up to date. Make sure you have a passport. Keep them in a safe but accessible place. Keep non-pregnant urine samples in the freezer. They last up to 4 months. But it does require certain temperatures. So get the facts. Also Plan B is shelf stable for up to 4 years and pregnancy and ovulation tests for 3. Stock up.
- Move to blue states. This isn’t so easy when we have family and friends we would leave behind. I know this isn’t easy. This is a hard and almost impossible suggestion. But explore it. I’ve been thinking about new “safe” houses for disadvantaged pregnant women to seek asylum.
- Accept the laws as they are. If you are pregnant, no matter the circumstances, even rape and incest, you can bear this child and give it up for adoption. Many wanting families exist. This will be psychologically and emotionally terrifying, so make sure to get the mental health support you can.
- If you miscarry and the fetus is dead inside you, I recommend you leave your state before they enact legislation to test women before they leave. You can still get medical care in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, California, Oregon and Washington, and perhaps others.
- Use birth control religiously. Period. (Ironic use of that word. )
- If you have family in other states or countries, look at relocating. It’s time for families to reconsolidate and protect their own. It’s also time to explore a new “underground railroad” to help women with miscarried fetuses to receive medical support in states or countries without restrictions.
- Abstain from sex. Yes, it feels great, but for non-traditional, non-Christian nationalist women, it’s the only guarantee you have.
- Don’t second guess domestic violence. Go to shelters, family. Hide. Separate. Divorce now before no-fault divorce is revoked in your state. Women are already doing this.
- Give up men and abstain from them altogether. Relish in friendship and family as well as other supportive and safe groups. This is a sure-bet alternative, protecting you from unwanted pregnancy and abusive relationships.
Trump supporters and others reading this article may think I’m crazy. I don’t care. When Trump won the first time, I cried all night. I told my husband, Roe v Wade will be overturned. I was right. He loaded the courts, and then the courts and states systematically dismantled women’s rights to manage their own bodies. So when people tell me all these extreme things won’t happen, I remember I was right about Roe v Wade at a time when no one believed me.
I wish I had more advice. I would love to tell women to protest en masse. But just know that Trump and Project 2025 have promised intolerance for such protests (this is fascism).
It seems a time to build new underground railroads and other networks to help women. I have no idea how to do this. Those who do, go for it.
Continue to raise awareness of the impact of inequity. We cannot remain silent on the facts, though there may be consequences for doing so.
We have to identify and fix the rhetoric that has made being a democrat, let alone a liberal, a dirty word. If you do the research, you will see that the Christian right and Republican Party have been working on today’s outcome since the 1970s. That’s fifty years. Democrats: what’s your 50 year plan?
How ironic that per accurate measures our economies have done better under Democratic presidents. That’s not the narrative. The counter argument of “alternate truth,” supported by the Heritage Foundation and Christian Right have made sure of that.
Seek education! Trump said he loves the uneducated for a reason. You don’t have to go to school. Read everything you can, from opposing sides. Look at the sources and reliability of information. Distrust single source, religious-based treatises. Religious institutions are unlikely to present unbiased or balanced opinions.
Work to keep separation of church and state. Our country was established based on this separation. If we create a US that demands one true religion, please know that’s why people loaded the Godspeed, Susan Constant, and Discovery ships in 1606. They wanted religious freedoms. What does a Christian America mean for Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics, Hindi?
We have to find a solution for white men who feel disenfranchised. They are voting for policies that actually work against them because the far right has done better at message points or downright lied. They’ve turned laborists anti union. They know how to fear monger and half-truth their audiences into supporting them.
Fix our educational system that allows religious education and poor education. Home school- but not for the Christian Far Right- for the moderate and left. Take your kids out of increasingly Christian public schools. Can’t afford to stay home? Set up a rotating system with likeminded women. Get 20+ women and alternate days off. Or pool funds to pay for a teacher.
And to the far left who didn’t vote at all: wake up. You have participated in an unrecognizable American future, an autocracy rather than democratic republic. Shame on you.
As for me, this is my last political post. I’ll be returning to the challenges of raising kids and various other “safe” topics that will keep me and my family safe. I haven’t given up. But I am working on Plan B.
Please share privately with friends. My last post on patriarchy was flagged and removed by Facebook. The only way to get out the message is by email sharing. So please like and subscribe on my Walk the Moon website and invite your friends to as well.
Be smart. Be strategic. Be kind. Be determined. Use your voice when it does not endanger you or your family. Mostly, stay alive.
Walk the Moon 