A Surviving Facts Blog
As the title implies, today’s topic is bound to raise some emotion. That’s not necessarily a bad thing- I got 20 new subscribers in less than 10 minutes after last week’s edgy post. To be clear, I’m not sharing these thoughts for subscribers and clicks, though it’s validating to know I’m being read. I’m writing about topics I believe we need to address in today’s work environment.
Most of my new subscribers were women, some writers of blogs I’d never heard of. These readers hailed from Alaska to Australia, with many country stops in between. I had not realized my readership was as expansively global as it was. If you haven’t subscribed to my blog, please take a moment and do so! That way, my blog will come straight into your email.
I certainly wasn’t surprised about the numbers of women- after all, I did write about inequity- perceived or real- in the workforce. Being supported by a community of women compels me to keep opening some thorny topics and take risks. I imagine these readers as a community- real or virtual- of women rallying for shared advancement, exploding unconscious biases about male and female behaviors and vigorously networking and rallying for change and success. I know my own corporate success was immensely aided by a few female leaders who stood up for me at critical times.
But, we haven’t gone far enough. Here goes the controversial statement: Women do not support women enough. Not fierce enough, not loud enough, not bold, unapologetic, loyal, staunchly enough. The sisterhood has work to do.
We’ve all had the female colleague who, for whatever reason, worked against us rather than with us. This blog is about them. So, let’s give a shout out to the supporters- of which there are many- who HAVE been there when needed. THANK YOU. I will not forget you.
I shared a recent post about weight stigma. Studies have shown that overweight, obese or morbidly obese women are hired less frequently; receive fewer choice projects, fewer promotions, and few advancements; and earn less. In fact, according to government researcher David Lempert, an “increase of 10% in a woman’s body mass decreased her income by 6%.” This wage cut comes on top of the fact that women already earn 20% less on average than men in the U.S. Similar studies have shown that men don’t seem to face similar weight bias.
In my previous post, I also shared that I had almost been thwarted in my advancement because of my then weight challenges. I had a female champion who knew my work ethic, talent and commitment. Who were the detractors? Women. Two women in particular. At the end of the debate, the head of the company ruled in favor of my champion. But, knowing who the other women were, I always wondered how they could fight against the advancement of another woman because of, well, her body.
Through the years at my various roles, I’ve had women (and men) fight to gain areas of my remit. I’ve had them challenge me vociferously on conference calls. I’ve received open and sometimes quite personal attacks or lack of support against fake accusations and numbers. I’ve had women believe men over me- even when the woman and I were good friends and they knew I was speaking with accuracy and authority. I’ve had too many women stay silent when other women were talked over, stepped on, interrupted or put down. I’m sure all of you have seen this as well.
The challenge, I’m sure you are all thinking, is that those women are scared too. They are afraid they will be next. It’s not necessarily Schadenfreude as much as it’s Schaden avoid. No one wants to be the next to be harmed or to have their credibility, reliability and reputation damaged.
And yet, staying silent permits male standards of criticism and attack, confrontational tactics and interruption, inappropriate laughter or smirking, or other actions to remain the business norm.
I once had a close friend at work who was struggling with a project. It was running way over budget and there were key features that needed to be addressed for the project- and the company- to succeed. I saw these faults and worked to address them outside of team or conference calls. In those arenas, I often stepped in to find the positive message, to acknowledge progress, to compliment. Imagine my surprise, then, when the favor wasn’t returned. At a critical meeting, when I was in a situation in which inaccurate information was shared, she said nothing on my behalf. When I asked why, the response was vague and unsupportive. I was left to fend for myself without another supporter at the table. And we all know how powerful even one supportive voice can be.
Why is it important for women to support women? Because our still patriarchal workforce requires a multitude of voices and not a lone howl in the woods. Studies again have showed that even one supporter can shift an entire conversation and can redirect conversations to accurate and critical points. If today’s workplaces were equal- and I do not believe we have reached absolute parity- then, this act of advocacy would be unnecessary. I know we professional women can certainly hold our own. I certainly can. However, supportive voices validate, reinforce, redirect, underscore and just plain comfort and help.
So I ask all of the professional women reading my blog, do you step up to support other female leaders and voices? If you aren’t, what do you gain from your silence? What does the other woman gain from your silence? What has held you back from speaking up? Think about these questions and your answers may surprise you.
I have always believed there is room for all women to rise. I’ve never felt it’s a scarcity or either/or situation. Indeed, I often have looked for solutions from which multiple women can benefit. Do you believe in the abundance model? Or do you embrace scarcity and competition? I look forward to hearing your comments, but in the meantime, I’ll be cheering on my female colleagues who take risks, and speak out with confidence and authority every day.
Walk the Moon 